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Who is most important?

January 18, 2013

When I first started dating my husband, I knew very well kids were involved. I love kids, and I was convinced that I would have to put the kids as my first priority. I decided to do anything in my power to create a good family and a good home for the kids. A part of me wanted to mend what was broken. I made some decisions out of a heart and a desire to put his children first. I used my savings and my inheritance to buy a house in the neighborhood were my oldest stepkid went  to school. It did not even cross my mind to look for a house in the area were I wanted to live.

I kept making smaller and bigger decisions that I thought would benefit my stepchildren. But then I started wondering: Is it true that children`s needs always should be put first? If their needs always have to get the front seat, that means their needs are more important than my needs. I discovered that this was not something I believed in. I do not believe in raising children in a way to make them believe that their desires and needs are more important than other`s needs.  I believe everyone`s needs are equally important. The need for safety, for health, for love – they are equal for all human beings regardless of being a child or a grown up.Practicing considerate  behavior should be done within the family, among other places.

The difference between an adult and a child is not that the child`s need is more important than the adult`s need. The difference lays in who is responsible for who:   the adult is responsible providing for the child, not the other way around. That will naturally lead to many situations were the child is put first. Sometimes the adult needs to sacrifice in order for the child to get what she/he needs. But that is out of the role as a provider, not because you are less important as a human being. 

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